婚姻的7个阶段

Are you familiar with the various stages of marriage? When we are young, we think of life in two parts: before marriage and after marriage. But some people stay married for the majority of their lives, sometimes 80 years or longer.

Marriage can be best understood when viewed as a series of stages, or phases, that most couples work through while spending their lives together. These seven stages of marriage are interconnected, and yet each one is distinct and somewhat separate from the others. Knowing what to expect, and more importantly, how to plan, can help each couple weather the adjustments more readily. Below is a description of the stages of marriage that apply to many married couples today.

蜜月期

普遍认为是浪漫，温柔和理想主义的婚姻的“蜜月”阶段发生在接下来的几个月后婚礼后立即发生，可能会持续一两年。实际上，在古代以色列，军队在结婚的第一年就不会应征人士，让他们有时间开始建立关系，一个家庭和夫妻俩的家人。以激情，性亲密和痴迷为特征，这个阶段可能非常敏感和动荡，并为婚姻结合提供了一个培养的环境。

调整阶段

他们什么都没说“蜜月结束”！婚姻的第二阶段发生在第一个结束时，有时在其他时候突然逐渐取决于影响新娘，新郎及其生活的情况。

本质上，这对夫妇彼此关注，他们的新曼联关系开始逐渐消失。

Pulled back into the “real world” by other responsibilities, including work, in-laws, homemaking, child-rearing, and their growing familiarity with one another, this stage is an epiphany, or awakening, to the “whole picture” of marriage. The awareness that you have married someone who is imperfect, and perhaps displays undesirable or even questionable qualities, can lead to some sobering reflections and “what-have-I-gotten-myself-into” moments.

大逃生阶段

在头三年左右的时间之后，两个配偶都宣称自己的草皮并采取了防御力，权力斗争可能会爆发。在婚姻的这个阶段，丈夫和妻子开始意识到他们嫁给了一个拥有许多恶习和美德的人，每个人都会以新的方式重新发明自己，这可能只包括配偶。在这个阶段，“七年瘙痒”是许多婚姻顾问现在认为，一些夫妇可能会早到三到五年来到达。随着幻灭，冲突和挫败感取代了早期的激情和调整，婚外情的危险变得显而易见。

重新评估阶段

Late in the first decade of marriage, and often into the second decade, couples become more accustomed to their situation and each other’s quirks. They begin to mature, especially if children are present or they have had good role models or mentors.

他们建议自己参加婚姻，而不是选择救助，而是评估联盟的优势和缺点，并着手在改善家庭生活的同时重新建立自己。

The Growing Together Phase

Surviving boredom, conflict and temptation thus far, the couple may find peaceful time during their second or third decade together. Suddenly, there is a second opportunity to rediscover each other. As children grow up and go off to college, and one or both spouses settle into satisfying careers, this is an excellent opportunity for them to focus on each other again, rather than juggling kids, jobs and tensions that come with the territory of marriage. Renewal ceremonies and second honeymoons are becoming more commonplace as couples pledge themselves all over again to one another. Remember the pledged words: Until death do us part.

中年冲突阶段

尽管女性在40多岁和50多岁（有时在30多岁）中通过生物学和情感调整表现出了中年的变化，但两性男女可能会体验到心理中年的“危机”经历，在那里她们达到了婚姻生活或职业的顶峰。他们突然看到了他们一生的另一半滑梯。即将接近退休和衰老的想法对某些人来说是如此令人不安，以至于他们强迫地寻求青年来坚持自己的“最佳时光”，有时是通过放弃配偶来追求年轻的“模特”。

Empty-nest syndrome can wreak havoc as well, with the couple focusing on each other instead of the kids, which comes with its own type of reawakening phase—both good and bad. Compounding these issues are others associated with middle age, such as losing parents, declining health and the loss of a job.

所有这些事情都会带来我们最糟糕的情况，从而导致指责，遗憾，指控和对抗。坚强，坚定的夫妇将找到一种环境风暴的方法。可悲的是，当他们的婚姻瓦解时，其他人可能会落在路边。

履行阶段

After a few decades, the husband and wife realize in this stage of marriage that they have somehow managed to stay together, and they are contented to do so for the rest of their lives. For some couples, this may entail simply looking back on their earlier years together and being thankful they had each other through good times and bad. For others, the fulfillment phase is “falling in love all over again,” realizing that they have chosen the best possible life partner, and being grateful to have that person in their life as they grow old together. Through thick and thin, they have stood by each other and survived many losses as well as celebrated life’s joys. At this point they have no thought for anyone else, just the satisfaction of being with the person they truly love above all else.

您的不同婚姻阶段可能不会遵循此特定秩序。否则您甚至可能会遇到此列表中未包含的内容。要点是，在两个选择结婚的人的终生过程中，很少有婚姻在一个层面上始终如一地运作。事情会改变的。这就是生活。人们经历一系列可能影响配偶感觉的经历。

今天的离婚率徘徊在50％以下，这比几年前要好，但仍然太高。有了更好地了解期望的期望以及如何在跨越几十年的婚姻中做出反应，夫妻有更好的机会坚持在一起并克服自己的道路上的障碍。

已婚人士可能想花一些时间思考他们所处的特定婚姻阶段，并决定该怎么做。希望在体验婚姻的各个阶段时，您将在每个人中都能理解并欣赏您的配偶。